Heaven can wait
by logicat
Summary: NaLu. love. strength. heartbreak. sacrifice & more. "she never expected to fall in love with a scarf wearing idiot,but what she definitely didn't expect was him breaking her heart and turning her into one of those sappy heroines she despised". Will Lucy find the courage to trust Natsu with her heart?[return after a long long hiatus]
1. rain falls down

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fairy Tail..if I did natsuXlucy will be cannon

* * *

**HEAVEN CAN WAIT**

_**Rain falls down**_

_**

* * *

**_

I hated these kinds of days. The days which you wake up to the threat of a heavy downpour, the lingering tension in the air, and the very knowledge in the bottom of your stomach that life as you know it is going to change.

"Pshaw", thinking like this is only going to make me depressed. I convince myself that I just need a warm bath.

Bathing, choosing clothes, accessories, make up; it's all normal. I am surprised that I can't bring myself to simper and wink at myself for my usual pep talk before leaving the house.

* * *

I looked up at the sky. I missed my nakama who generally didn't give me peace for a full day.

"It's only been a few days since the last mission, I am sure they are recuperating or taking care of other business", talking aloud to myself seems to all I am doing these days.

Who am I kidding? It's been a week.

Relaxing my face, i walked into the guild with a half-smile.

* * *

Having Lisanna back has brought so many obvious changes to the guild.

Mira and Elfman are conspicuous in their absence. Two of the hired barmaids are now handling the counter.

The most glaring change was in Natsu and Gray's behaviour. Erza, Grazy, Natsu and Lisanna were sitting in one of the corner tables, and discussing a mission from the looks of it.

Before I can walk towards them, Kana stops me and gives me a card. "I am here for you if you need me", she tells me seriously. Looking up from the card I smile at her in confusion.

"Thanks"

She walks away as I look at the card again and walk towards the four who still haven't noticed me.

Tucking the card into my pocket, I grin at them "hey guys"

They turn to smile at me and I felt foolish for worrying for nothing.

I sat down feeling quite at peace, only then did I notice the looks they were giving each other.

Natsu started haltingly "Lucy please don't take this the wrong way" glancing at the others his eyes lingered on his childhood love, he gave her a smile before he continued "we have accepted a four person mission"

I understood.

I did my best not to show my hurt on my face or in my actions.

Before I knew it I was in the apartment that I called home. The tension of the impending rain still lingered in the air.

I barely remembered what happened after I received the initial shock of the news. All I remember now is controlling myself from showing what I felt and acting how a friend who understood would act.

The chocking crushing feeling of stopping myself from screaming and crying out of sheer will.

Gray and Erza telling me it was only temporary.

The finale was Lisanna herself "I am really sorry, are you ok with this?"

I smiled at her, how could I not? She truly was sweet and innocent. I will be their nakama and give them what I want.

This hurt is no one's fault but mine. Wanting what I cannot have, trying to stay where I don't belong.

Sitting in the tub, the shower beating down on me I sob, with my heart feeling like it is going to break.

I cry for the fact that I have turned me into one of those heartbroken idiot girls I have scoffed at in the sappy romances.

Am I so easy to push aside Natsu?

Am I just a friend to you Natsu Dagoneel?

It feels like hours before I am able to drag myself to get out of the tub to wrap the towel around myself.

* * *

The next day was the same. The same cloudy skies and the same heady air. I did not want to get out of bed. I didn't have the heart to face another day.

Finishing up the day's routine I found the card Kana gave me yesterday.

Searching out the tarot book I interpreted what it meant. The tower was perfect -sudden change, release, downfall, revelation.

I had to smile because it had given me an idea that I would have never had the courage to have thought of otherwise.

Facing the world alone after getting a taste of companionship was difficult. But I am Lucy. I may be just Lucy but I will be fine.

_Life as we know it is going to change_

_

* * *

_

Thanks for reading . please review.. give me tips and ideas.


	2. the quiet

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fairy Tail..if I did natsuXlucy will be cannon

* * *

**HEAVEN CAN WAIT**

_**The quiet**_

_**

* * *

**_

Erza sat on the bar stool talking to MiraJane about the assignment she and her brother had handled.

"Were you able to handle the assignment without any difficulty? Did you feel anything was out of place or different?"

"No", Mira smiled. "Actually the only thing that feels different is being waited upon here".

"I'm glad; actually I have a favour to ask of you"

"Ask away Erza"

"Can you keep an eye on Lucy? I don't think she took the news very well yesterday. "

_Poor girl _"Did you expect any different? Did she cry?"

"No, she didn't show any sign that she was annoyed or hurt or anything! But I felt she was just ..."

"..Protecting her pride?"

"No, trying to be strong so that we didn't feel bad"

* * *

"Hey Levy, Gazille"

"Hiya Lu-chan"

"What do you want bunny-girl?"

* * *

"Hey Newt, get Lisanna and Happy it's time to leave."

"Put on some clothes first"

"AHHHH… I can't believe a pink haired idiot had to tell me"

"You don't really have to beg to be beaten up. I 'll do it with pleasure"

"SALAMANDER'S…"

"ICEMAKE…"

* * *

"Let me get this straight. You want to accompany shadow gear on a mission"

"Yes! Please Levy! I am behind on rent payment"

"You do know Gazille has started accompanying me on missions, don't you?"

"I'll not disturb you love birds. Just this once"

_Laughs _"We'll love to have you join our mission Lu-chan"

_Smirks _"Yeah! Bunny-girl can provide the entertainment if needed"

_Jet and Droy faint in happiness_

_

* * *

_

"Mira-nee-chan, Big brother are you sure you are ok with me going?"

"We know those three will take good care if you. But you don't need it do you?" The two sisters embraced and then turned in the direction of their brother who was wailing in-between shouts of "it's not manly to cry" and "my baby sister is all grown up"

"I'll take care of him. Go on. Have fun and stay safe"

"Thanks nee-chan. Bye big brother"

* * *

"Hey pinkie.."

_Growls _"streaker! What is it?"

"Whose idea was it to go on this four person mission?"

"What do you mean?"

"Idiot! Who put forward the idea to exclude Lucy?"

"I dunno." _Scratches head "_You guys made the decision before Happy and I came"

"Are you ok with this?"

"It's only for this mission"

"So you'll take Lucy along with Lisanna and Happy and on your later missions?"

"…."

* * *

A few hours later Lucy sat with her pen trying to squeeze another chapter from her mind.

But all that ran through her head was the humiliation of having to beg another team to take her with them.

_No one really needs me. They are forced to put up with me. I am too weak to be of any use to them._

_If this was a movie, this would be the perfect time for the leading lady to jump off the cliff in despair and for her prince to come rescue her._

"Don't think about princes and dragons", she told herself with a mental slap.

_I have neither._

_

* * *

_

"OPEN! GATE OF THE LION! LEO"

"You called me when you don't need me to fight...you want to go on a date?" Loki smirked

_He does cheer me up but first things first _"Can you teach me to fight better? I mean the spells and tricks"

Loki stood there open mouthed.

_This would have been funny if I wasn't so serious. _Rolling her eyes Lucy tried again "remember that Angel could use two of her keys at the same time? She could handle the magic drain better than I did too"

Getting over his initial shock at her sudden interest he replied, "That comes with improving your stamina; it'll come with time and practise"

"Then what about the spell Hibiki gave me the knowledge to use once?"

"For that you need the spell book, I'll get it for you from the spirit world" Loki smiled "but first you need to tell me why this interest out of the blue"

"Cant a girl just want to learn?"

"So you want to become stronger" _something is wrong with her. Why won't she divulge the reason?_

"Yes."

"Call Plue out"

"CLOSE..", Loki stopped her from continuing the gate closure by blocking her mouth with his hand.

"While I am here" seeing her quizzical look he explained "you can improve your magical stamina this way, think of this as your first training session."

* * *

Please review with feedback and ideas.


	3. spin

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fairy Tail..if I did natsuXlucy will be cannon.

* * *

**HEAVEN CAN WAIT**

_**Spin**_

* * *

"Huh?..what?", suddenly sitting upright I am confused as to how I ended up in my bed.

_I must have collapsed after a while and Loki must have tucked me in. At least he had enough self-preservation instincts to leave my clothes as they were. _Thus reasoning to myself I start getting ready to leave for the mission with the Shadow Gear team.

Trying to stop thinking about the team that left yesterday is not working. With my thoughts running in circles I wonder…I wonder how they are doing. I wonder if they miss me._ Unbidden, images of Lisanna being able to handle her opponent with ease, Erza and Gray agreeing that Lisanna was more useful and fun that I am, Natsu and Lisanna cuddling..._

The urge to cry overpowers my senses yet again. My heart seems to have lodged itself in my throat. The room blurs through my tears. _Natsu._ I sink to my knees and cry._ Natsu._ The loneliness seems more oppressive than ever; it seems to tear my heart and make me whole body shake._ Natsu._ Am I that easy to push aside? _ Natsu. _Do I mean so little to you? _Natsu._ Am I that easy to forget? _Natsu. _Is this pain forever mine?

_Natsu._

* * *

I regain control over my limbs with snot all over my hands, my nose and lips swollen and my eyes red and burning. Standing up seems like something I haven't accomplished in a while. With my knees wobbling and holding on to the wall I clean myself up again.

I missed Natsu and Happy more than ever when I saw Jet and Droy waiting for the rest of us in the train station. Buying the tickets and boarding occurred without incident. I almost turned my face away when I saw the way Gazille was taking care of Levi. _Just because I am unlucky in love doesn't mean I can't be happy for my friend. Isn't it so easy to say? _Smiling at my temporary team I settled into my seat with a book.

As my mind drifts far away, in one single moment of clarity I realise isn't this what love is about? Wanting the person you love to be happy even if that happiness doesn't involve you in it; Even if it involves faking laughter and forcing smiles.

The mission was to stop the creature which was terrorizing the town and stopping them from accessing their water source. The offered reward was 300,000J. Splitting up into two groups-Levi and Gazille-Jet, Droy and me, we set off.

Gazille and Levi were the ones responsible for close combat with the monster_. They must _really _think I am a liability in battle. But it is nice to know that they care._

The only contribution I could make was when the mayor asked us to bury the carcass.

"OPEN! DOOR OF THE MAIDEN! VIRGO"

* * *

"So you'll be away for a month?", the Landlady asked as she looked in askance at the small bag Lucy was carrying.

"Yes, I am leaving all my things here and I hope this will be enough to cover the rent till I return",handling over a small pouch with enough Jewels to cover the month's rent Lucy bid farewell to her Landlady

* * *

"Where are Happy and Lisanna?" Natsu asked Gray and Erza as he set a log on fire.

"Right here" "Aye" the missing two replied.

"Where were you two? " Erza questioned.

"In the forest" Happy replied as he grabbed a fish.

"I miss the weirdo. It's boring without her"

* * *

"Are you sure about this Lucy?"

"Yes master, I need to do this for myself" looking down at the floor she continued "Please don't tell anyone about this. None of the others know"

* * *

Please review with feedback and ideas!:)


	4. make no apologies

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fairy Tail..if I did natsuXlucy will be cannon

AN: thank you for the reviews! It has given me the confidence to continue.

* * *

**HEAVEN CAN WAIT**

_**Make no apologies**_

_**

* * *

**_

For once Erza decided that they could be trusted to be in a hotel room by themselves due to their good behaviour the entire day. The fight and the beatings Erza had dealt them through the day had taken a toll on their energy levels so they didn't have the energy to even provoke each other, in Erza's reasoning the room was safe for now. Lying down in their respective beds the silence reined for a while. Happy had fallen asleep after consuming his weight in fish on the couch. Gray started contemplatively at his roommate for a few minutes and decided to appease his curiosity.

"Squinty eyes"

Natsu turned his head towards Gray before replying, "Ice-bastard.."

"You never answered my question flame-breath"

"What are you talking about stupid?"

Rolling his eyes at the pink haired idiot's short term memory he repeated the question, "Are you planning to take Lucy along with you, Lisanna and Happy on the coming missions?"

"Why should I take Lisanna? Wouldn't she like to form a team with Mira and Elfman?" _Ice-freak has finally lost his mind. Does he really expect me to leave Luce behind...Maybe Erza's last beating finally addled his brain?_

Gray stood shocked for a second then stared at Natsu, "Are you serious?"

"What? Are you deaf as well as stupid?" Natsu scoffed.

"But I thought you would want to be with Lisanna", Gray felt like he was close to clearing up a huge misunderstanding.

"Why do you say that dumb-ass?"

"…don't you like Lisanna? Aren't you glad she is back?"

"Of course I like her! She is my nakama. For us she has literally come back from the dead. Why won't I be glad when my friend who I thought dead is alive?"

"You _like _like Lisanna..don't you?"

"Huh?"

"IDIOT! Don't you love Lisanna?"

"WHERE DID YOU GET THAT IDEA FROM? Don't assume stuff you stupid stripper", I_ knew it. We have to get his head checked for trauma for one too many beatings. Maybe both heads for Juvia's sake. Erza really hits without pity and without discrimination. _Winces in memory of pain.

"I am not in the mood to pick a fight with you and get bashed up by Erza" ,Gray turned on his side facing away from Natsu. _Natsu is a fool._

_Why does he think I am going to leave Lucy behind? I can't believe he thinks I am in love with Lisanna? Moron doesn't understand the concept of childhood love. But everyone knows it is a temporary arrangement for this mission don't they? Lisanna can always join Lucy and I on missions if she wants to. _Thus assuring himself he relaxed smiling. In moments he was swept off to a world of cosy beds, warm smiles and blond hair intertwined with his.

* * *

Meanwhile Erza and Lisanna had bathed in settled in their beds. Erza inspected Lisanna carefully. It was difficult for her to associate this teen with the little girl who was wrenched abruptly from their lives. Before she could start the conversation Lisanna who looked like she had something on her mind started off with hesitation.

"Is there anything going on between Natsu and Lucy?"

Erza looked carefully at Lisanna again, keeping her intense eye contact she replied "Why do you ask?"

"In Edolas, Lucy and Natsu were together" she stammered.

"Lisanna, do you like Natsu?"

* * *

Lucy stood contemplating her apartment with her pink suitcase and a duffel bag at her feet. The memories of her nakama and their antics filled her mind as she smiled. Walking through the apartment she finally came to her bedroom. Her mind supplied the image of Natsu and Happy sprawled across her bed, Erza going through her wardrobe exclaiming at the more risqué clothes she owned and Gray's clothes shed all over her place as she remembered her friends. _I'll miss you all. I'll miss the way you all made me smile, made me scream and made me believe. I'll miss it all but just for a little while. I'll be back stronger._

_I guess it's time to let my other friends on the plan._

"OPEN! GATE OF THE LION! LEO"

Without giving Loki time to greet her she burst out "We are going on a training trip"

"I see"

"Is that all you have to say to me?"

"How long?"

"I am hoping a month at the maximum. I don't have the funds for more"

"I see"

"Are you angry with me?"

"Why? Just tell us why. Just tell one of us what happened. We heard from Virgo that you were with a different team last mission. We are all worried about you Lucy. Your energy seems agitated and depressed; it seems to call us to this world constantly. No one except Gemini or I can summon ourselves and we tried our best to respect your privacy but enough is enough..."

"I'm in love with Natsu" Lucy said in low hushed voice looking at the floor.

Loki laughed and grabbed hold of her in a hug "So you finally figured it out. Shouldn't you confess instead of running away on this so called training trip?"

"They replaced me" she couldn't help it, her voice cracked.

"Who did?"

Gaining courage, she looked into his face as she replied "Lisanna is back; they wanted to go on a four person mission". With her voice rising with every syllable she continued," Do you expect me to confess to him now? Without words he has shown me how important I am to him" _I feel worthless and yet I know no matter what he does I'll never even wish to stop loving him._ Taking a deep breath she continued "I need to stabilize my emotions and thoughts, they don't need to know how I feel do they?" _I need to make sure that they never do. I don't want them to feel guilty for something that is no fault of theirs._

"Lucy don't you think Natsu deserves to know how you feel? He'll appreciate your honesty at the very least. Don't you trust him not to hurt you?"

"He'll never hurt his nakama that's why I made this decision. What he doesn't know can't hurt him" _If I confess his stupid sense of honour or love towards his ex-teammate will destroy his peace of mind and it might destroy the friendship I can claim._

"Where are we going?"_ If she believes this will reduce the hurt then this is what we'll do._

_

* * *

_

Thanks for reading . please review.. give me tips and ideas.


	5. the sky of diamonds

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fairy Tail..if I did natsuXlucy will be cannon NOW. I mean right NOW they'll be off in a corner making out!

* * *

**HEAVEN CAN WAIT**

_**The sky of diamonds**_

_**

* * *

**_

Lucy had decided to leave her apartment early in the morning, before the sun had risen. The only thing she dithered about was whether she wanted to leave a note for her friends to find. Deciding not to be petty she did.

To whomever who finds the note,  
I am going on a vacation. I will be back in a month. No need to worry. Please don't come in search of me.  
Lucy

Leaving the note on her writing desk below her inkwell she hoped that if her friends came in search of her they'll look in the same place they found the note last time.

* * *

It was a beautiful day, with Sun shining and a cool breeze making clothes ripple once in a while. It was a great day after a successful mission. But the discussion between Gray and Natsu was quickly turning into a fight; and Erza's face darkened with each word that spewed out of the temperamental duo. Happy realising where this was going to lead flew off Natsu's shoulder. Erza Finally snapped when they turned to face each other in fighting stances; she grabbed their heads and smashed them together. The moment of silence that followed was interrupted by Lisanna's laughter.

"You both haven't matured a single bit. But I have to admit you both are more fun to watch than your counterparts in Edolas", she said amidst her laughter.

Erza looked thunderstruck as if a thought had just struck her. She paused for a moment before asking her question, "Are you sure you are comfortable with me? I mean the other Erza was not exactly known for her love for Fairy Tail.."

Lisanna simply smiled before replying "You are two different people. I don't know whether I am explaining this properly but my mind doesn't link the earth and Edolas versions. The personalities are too different for me to overlap and connect any of you with your Edolas counterparts."

Erza's face softened at this admission. Meanwhile Natsu and Gray had partially recovered from the bashing and were trying to crawl away before Erza decided to _punish _them again. The movement made Lisanna and Erza focus their attention on them in amusement wondering how far they were going to crawl in such a manner-

Lisanna turned to Erza with the solution to the discussion they were having earlier "I have an idea. I can join Natsu and Happy in the trek back to the guild while Grey and you take the train back, that way we stop Natsu from whining and as an added bonus we separate the two morons."

"Hey! Don't put me in the same category as squinty eyes", Gray mumbled.

Natsu scrambled up, pointed a finger at Gray and growled "As if I am flattered? I rather be in the same category as a rock"

Erza surprisingly ignored this escalating fight and looked at Lisanna with her usual piercing look. But remembering their conversation from the previous night she sighed internally. Lisanna's answer had oddly not shocked her. _She is not the little girl she was when she disappeared. Maybe it is better they do get that time alone. There are a lot of things they need to say to each other- _Nodding to herself, she said "I'll tell Mira not to worry. Be safe". She then grabbed Gray by his hair and stated dragging him off. The other three remained facing the direction the two disappeared until they could no longer hear the sounds of Erza's luggage cart and Gray's cries of pain for his hair.

Happy flew around in circles in happiness before landing on Natsu's shoulder and asking in a cutesy voice "Can we go fishing on the way back? ". Natsu looked at Lisanna in askance and she nodded. An overjoyed Happy took up a chant of "FISH! FISH! FISH!"

* * *

It was afternoon when Lucy reached the first pit stop of her journey. After checking into a hotel for the evening and assuring the manager many times that she didn't need the room for more than a day she went to her allotted room. An hour, a bath and a meal later she walked a while through the quaint town before reaching the town's magic store.

Loki had stressed the importance of her getting a key ring which couldn't be taken from her. She had always known that she needed to but had somehow put it off for various reasons. Having Loki who was never anything but sweet and polite to her being strict had really struck home. He had directed her to come to this town for that specific purpose. _De-spelled _key_ ring here I come._

Entering the shop she breathed in the musty smell. There was magic in the air she knew, her skin tingled in awareness and her blood was singing in anticipation. Calling out aloud to the owner of the shop she paused to examine the books on the rack nearest to her. A low voice interrupted her perusal of the tomes.

"A spirit mage", said a lady with apple green hair and eyes. Glancing at Lucy's keys on her belt her eyes narrowed "Needing a De-spelled key ring from the looks of it"

Cutting Lucy off before she could speak she continued "50,000J. Don't try to haggle with me"

The lady's snobby attitude lasted till she noticed the keys Lucy did have as she transferred them to her new key ring. "You are the one who brought Leo and Aries together", she said in a soft reverent tone. An hour and several refusals later (Evangeline had tried to press a lot of things into her hand as a token of her appreciation) Lucy ran out of the shop as politely as she could.

It was late evening when Lucy walked back to the hotel as she contemplated her plans for the rest of the day. The suddenly decreasing light and the street lamps flickering on made her look up into the sky. Holding her breath she stood still bathed in an orange glow. The colour palette in the sky changed from the family of fire to the cool shades of blue as the shadows lengthened and the air changed from cool to having a nipping quality. The cloak from the sky was shifted to earth as the stars appeared in slow but steady succession. _This broad, jewelled expanse is the source of my power. _Smiling as her loneliness abated with the visual reminder of her friends, she raised her hand to trace their constellations. _Father, no diadem you gave me shined like the gems I see; no tutor you gave me made me want to compose an anthem in their name. I hope someday you can see how happy I am under the diamonds in the sky-_

_

* * *

_

AN: Yes,this chapter's title was inspired by the title of the song which inspired the creators of Fairy Tail to name her Lucy. "Lucy in the sky with diamonds"-The Beatles. Sorry for the late update (exams).

This is my first fic (obvious? I know) so thank you yet again for the reviews and the addition to your alerts/favourite stories/ author (it made me inordinately pleased) .. It has also given me the confidence to continue writing.

Thank you for reading. Please do review with feedback, suggestions and ideas!:)


	6. Where do you belong?

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fairy Tail..if I did natsuXlucy will be cannon

* * *

**HEAVEN CAN WAIT**

_**Where do you belong?**_

_**

* * *

**_

Lucy ate her sandwich slowly. _It's so quiet and boring. _Without conscious effort her mind shifted to her errant nakama. _Do they miss me?.. When did I become so self-centered? He deserves to be happy.. but all I can think about is me. _Suddenly feeling nauseous she put her half eaten sandwich on her plate and stood up. _Stop thinking about it Lucy. _She mentally reprimanded herself as she left enough money to cover the bill and a small tip before leaving the restaurant .

Climbing the stairs to her room she contemplated the wisdom of calling Loki out to keep her company. _He might insist on another training session... but I don't want to be alone._

"OPEN! GATE OF THE LION! LEO"

To her surprise it was not Loki who had answered her call but Virgo who now stood in front of her.

Virgo started to explain her presence "Brother-"

Lucy completed the rest "-is on a date so he asked you to cover for him again, didn't he?"

"Yes princess. I was also asked to hand this over to you" Virgo handed her a sealed envelope. Lucy saw that it had her name written on it in flowy script, taking it from Virgo's hand she turned it over to inspect the seal. Though she was puzzled as to why Loki had sent her a letter she put it down on her bedside table and asked Virgo "Do you want to stay for a while or you have to return?"

She balked and almost regretted asking when Virgo predictably asked whether she was going to be punished by Lucy. After a short argument which Lucy was more than happy to lose she laid on her stomach on the bed as the knots on her back were worked out by the massage that Virgo was giving her.

An hour later a content and relaxed Lucy Dismissed Virgo after her hair was brushed and braided for sleep. She sat on the edge of her bed contemplating the unopened letter lethargically. _Why would Loki write to me when he could have told me about whatever-this-is directly? I guess this means I am not going to like the contents much- _Lucy sat cross-legged leaning against the pillows which were propped against her headboard. For a long time her mind was everywhere yet nowhere. Suddenly she sat up and rolled her eyes at her own stupidity. _I am not going to know what is in it unless I open it. _Sliding her finger under the seal she broke open the letter.

* * *

Dearest Lucy,

You definitely wouldn't have expected a letter from me at this point of time but there are some things that need to be said. The reason I am writing this instead of standing in front of you is to give you the space and time you will need to digest this information and to sort out your thoughts at your own pace. This letter contains the concerns of all of us spirits under your contract (ah..well not all of us- Aquarius and Scorpio are away for the weekend. Don't ask.. we have learned not to question those two. At least not within Aquarius's earshot*wince*) so I ask you to consider and give some thought to what we say. This may not what you want to hear but it is what we believe you need to hear.

You my dear girl are a spoilt brat and I mean it in the nicest way possible. You have run away to lick your wounds at the first sign that you are not going to get what you want. You are running but do you know what are you running from? I-We understand and approve of your need to become stronger but the reason and catalyst for it, not so much.

Or do you wish in your heart of hearts to make them miss you? You seem to forget that I was a Fairy Tail mage before you came along. We stand by our nakama. We are a family. Give us a chance to be there for you. What happened to the girl who claimed she loved Fairy Tail and would never leave? You might have had to look after yourself before, but let go of those instinctive habits. You are not alone anymore. You have us and you always will.

Avoiding thinking and talking about it is not going to make what you feel disappear. This maybe a trip to get your bearings, but you don't have to hold your façade here. You are breaking apart and this so called training trip will be of no use when your magic is going haywire.

I know you wanted to grow old by his side. You have the opportunity to do that, only in a different capacity. Even love unreturned has its rainbow. You are always going to love Natsu. Isn't it time we move past what ifs? Regrets?

Don't cry sweetheart. I want to fix your heart but I can't, I don't have all the pieces.

You have a decision to make. Are you Lucy? Or are you Lucy of Fairy Tail?

Yours always,

Loki

P.S. The decision is yours. In case you do not wish to discuss this, I will be silent about this topic unless you give the indication.

* * *

In the spirit world Aries and Loki were sitting facing each other with their dinner placed between them. It was not hard to see they were both preoccupied with their own thoughts and concerns.

Aries finally decided to break the silence, "are you sure what you did is a good idea?"

"Uh-oh" Loki just nodded as he continued eating.

"Are YOU sure?" Aries stressed, "Maybe she does need this time to sort herself out."

"She needs to go back Aries", Loki put his fork down and leaned back on his chair. Tilting his head towards the ceiling and closing his eyes tiredly he continued, "I know Natsu likes her. She has to go back before something bad happens. I hope my letter makes her feel guilty enough to return to Fairy Tail"

Aries was confused with that reasoning, "Something bad? You are being paranoid. If they both like each other then there is no harm in her going away for a while"

"I don't think Natsu will think of it as going away for a while. I think he'll take it as abandonment"

* * *

The room was dark and still. Its only occupant lay facing the wall. Darkness didn't fail to gather in all its strength in the nooks and crannies. Shifting, flowing without shape or name the shadows seemed to shelter Lucy in their protective embrace as she tried to quell the tears that were flowing from below her closed eyelids.

* * *

AN: do we want Lucy to return? or does she have to move forward on her journey? decisions. decisions. (I could use some help..) Please do review with feedback, suggestions and ideas!:)

Thank you for reading. Thank you yet again for the reviews and the addition to your alerts/favorite stories/ author (it made me inordinately pleased) .. It has also given me the confidence to continue writing.

Sorry for the late update. My exams are going on and I am swamped for time.

coming soon: the next chapter- Natsu and Lisanna talk. Is the 'fishing trip' detour a date?


	7. Stranded dream

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fairy Tail..if I did natsuXlucy will be cannon

* * *

**HEAVEN CAN WAIT**

_**Stranded dream**_

_**

* * *

**_

It was midday when Natsu and Happy set down their pack in the clearing by the river. Lisanna had been confused when they hadn't had to have a discussion about where to go to fish. When she asked, they told her that their destination was rumoured to be the perfect spot for fishing. Their enthusiasm rather than their explanation convinced her enough to agree. _Even if I wanted to I couldn't have convinced them to try somewhere else_ she thought to herself as she put her pack down.

Finding them gathering their supplies (why and how they always had them she'll never know) she decided to rest her feet for a while. Settling with her back against a tree she looked at Natsu and Happy. Her mind turned inward in contemplation_. I know I am fond of Natsu but I am confused as to whether has my crush on him lasted. I never expected to be able to come back. I am sure he accepted my 'death' and didn't expect me to come back into his life. If anything did happen how'll know it's what he and I want now...or just a shadow of our feelings from before? I need to know whether we have something to try…whether we'll be willing to try. Or is it Natsu with Lucy in this world too?_

"I really have to talk to Natsu", she muttered opening her eyes.

Happy heard only Natsu, so assuming that she was searching for the missing dragon slayer he flew down to land in front of her, "He is gone to collect some wood."

"Oh I must have zoned out… so how is this place turning out?", She touched Happy's nose with her forefinger and giggled at his expression.

Happy mock glared at Lisanna as he answered her question, "Aye! It's good. Last time we checked out place based on the information we got, it didn't live up to its reputation. Lucy was really irritated because we woke her early for it. We caught her a bug but she never appreciated it.."

"But you had fun anyway didn't you?"

"Aye! Lucy can be funny without meaning to"

"I hope you both don't call her funny by making fun of her!"

Happy ignored the question, "Natsu and I rescued her and brought her to Fairy Tail. Do you know she can summon spirits? Do you know that she has one with a fish tail?"

"You miss her?"

"Aye! We spend most evenings in her apartment. And I spend most of my time during missions with her"

"I thought you accompany Natsu?"

"Natsu made sure I understood that unless he specifically asked me to come along it was my job to make sure she was safe when he couldn't."

"Why?"

"She jumped off a building trusting him to save her"

"Oh... He feels protective?"

"You should have seen his face when I told him that it was a touch and go in Edolas!Charlie and I caught her in a nick of time", Happy abruptly shifted the topic to his beloved exceed. "Do you think Charlie will ever like me? She always looks down upon me."

"It's the regular story of the princess and the pauper", she told him with a smile that was eerily similar to her elder sister's.

"Don't make fun of me", Happy looked offended.

"I only meant Charlie has the bearing of a princess…"

Happy's pouting face turned into grin at this compliment for Charlie.

Lisanna pottered on, "should I know anything before I talk to Natsu?"

Happy's grin turned sneaky, "You planed this out to talk to him?"

"Yes"

"You like him?"

"You were my best friends before I left. I missed you both. Did you miss me?"

Happy looked down and teared up. He abruptly flew onto her and clung to her stomach. She held him place while He hugged her to the best of his ability, "The first few weeks passed in a haze. I missed you so much. But Natsu had a harder time. Even after half a year the only thing that made him perk up was a lead on Igneel."

"I am really sorry for making you remember those times."

"That's ok. What's important is that you are back to us."

"I am really sorry for causing you both so much pain."

We survived didn't we? It was a long time until Natsu became really close to someone new but Lucy managed it"

"She is important to you isn't she?"

"Aye! But don't worry Lisanna we never forgot you"

* * *

The day had been fun with Lisanna transforming into a stork, cat and bear with varied results. She seemed to prefer bird forms and was infinitely more efficient in catching fish. When they were done drying off night had started to creep in and soon the fire was their only source of light. It flickered on their faces making strange patterns and masks. Natsu stared hungrily at it but knew he'd be scolded if he tried to. They knew if they really wanted to they could reach magnolia to sleep in their own beds but they decided to make it a full camping session with a night out under the stars.

Lisanna was stirring a pot of stew over the fire as Natsu gutted and grilled their fish. Happy had already claimed more than his fair share and was gobbling away. She smiled at her stew and decided to kick-start her plan.

"Natsu ...do you remember us from before I disappeared?" she said in her straightforward manner.

After a few moments of silence she turned to face him to gauge his reaction-

Lisanna knew Natsu was as dense as a person could be regarding matters like relationships so she was definitely surprised to see him frowning at her.

_Could it be that nothing was going to change? Would they go back to the way they were before?_ Thinking to herself that she would like it very much, she smiled very widely to reassure him before continuing, "I am not forcing you to make sure things are the same from before. I am sure you have changed just like I have."

Natsu gave her his trademark wide grin as he put his put the cooked fish into the utensil she had given him. It made her want to check whether her hair was in place and whether there was anything on her face but surprisingly neither did her heart skip a beat nor did her face heat up. It puzzled her for a moment but deciding that the lack of those utterly teenage symptoms was because she knew him too well, she continued talking as if she had not been waiting for a reply. After all it didn't seem like Natsu was going to talk before she clarified more.

"Are you happy that I am here?", she asked with her heart in her eyes. _I would definitely want to live forever in happiness with you._

Natsu crouched down in front of her to look at her in the eye. He saw that she was serious about wanting an answer but he completely missed the subtext in the conversation. He laid both his hands on her shoulders and gave a slight shake in frustration before saying, "You should know never to ask your nakama that. Of course I am!"

He then turned to Happy before asking, "I thought Lucy was the only weird one but Lisanna is getting weird too. Does it spread?" getting up he turned around and stood gazing out in the direction of magnolia with a startling expression of confusion and longing he continued, "but I don't think Lucy can be beaten in weirdness"

Lisanna understood what he hadn't understood yet. She understood what Happy understood instinctively. She understood.

* * *

AN: Thank you so much for reading! Please do review with your suggestions and feedback! I hope this chapter met its expectations (it makes me very nervous).

Thank you yet again for the reviews and the addition to your alerts/favourite stories/ author.. It made me want to keep writing instead of being a lazy bum.

A special heartfelt **Thank you** to all my **reviewers **for all the wonderful reviews! They make me smile every time I see them.


	8. Where my dreams are

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fairy Tail..if I did natsuXlucy WILL BE cannon

* * *

**HEAVEN CAN WAIT**

_**Where my dreams are**_

_**

* * *

**_

Lucy stood motionless with her hand outstretched and key in hand. She was frozen halfway through summoning. She didn't know whether she could face any of her spirits now. From Loki's letter it seemed that none of them were happy with her decisions or actions. _Am I so selfish?_ _I feel more alone than ever. I just wanted someone on my side for just this once-_

_

* * *

_

In the Fairy Tail guild Erza was sitting at the bar nursing a drink while MiraJane stood wiping a glass in contemplation. MiraJane didn't know how she felt yet about Erza leaving Happy, her sister and the flame dragon slayer to trek their way back. She had a feeling it would not end well. She didn't want to chastise Erza as Mira knew she meant well. But she had to know that Lucy-

"Are you not going to talk to me Mira?", Erza asked with a half-pout that anyone else wouldn't have been able to see.

Mira stilled her hands. "Are you sure what you did is right? I mean Lisanna is still confused about Natsu. She doesn't know the person he has become now. She definitely doesn't know how Lucy and Natsu feel about each other. I am doubtful whether Natsu has figured out how he feels!"

"I thought it would reduce the confusion. The best way to solve a problem would be to confront it", Erza said logically.

"It's my baby sister you are talking about", Mira started shaking in anger.

Erza set her glass down with deliberate calmness and asked, "So you think I don't care about Lisanna?"

Mira softened looking at the hurt in Erza's eyes which was almost overshadowed by the more obviously visible anger. "I don't want her to get hurt. I am just worried"

"Mira, I think you know as well as I do that Lisanna is going to understand sooner or later about what Natsu feels for Lucy. I thought sooner the better... before she really starts developing feelings for him again"

"You think she hasn't started liking him yet?"

"Is the self-proclaimed cupid of Fairy Tail asking me of all people?"

"I'd tend to be biased because it's Lisanna…and you know it"

Erza shook her head with a half-smile, "I don't think she realises this but she is trying to put things as they were before she left. It's more about fitting in. so where is Lucy?"

* * *

_I am done living my life waiting for approval but is Loki really right about my reasons for trip? Am I doing the wrong thing?_

"DAMN YOU LOKI!", Lucy screamed attracting the attention of other passer-by on the street. Without waiting to see a few start to edge away from her she stormed back to the hotel mumbling obscenities under breath.

Lucy sat on a stone bench in the courtyard, slowly relaxing from her foul mood. Tracing a large curling 'N' on the space beside her, she absentmindedly smiled. _Natsu, I want you to be happy. I know you care, you always have. I am the problem-I care and want more than I should. If I come back now, everyone'll realise why I left. I don't want to sour your relationship with Lisanna due to guilt._

"OPEN! GATE OF THE MAIDEN! VIRGO"

"Is it time for punishment, princess?"

"No.. I just want you to tell me whether you all agree with the letter's point of view"

"Princess as my owner I should tell you what you ask but please talk to Leo about this. We only did what we did because we care"

"Don't I need to become stronger Virgo?"

"Let's practise with the celestial whip for a while princess"

Lucy looked away from Virgo. It seemed Loki had covered his bases well, if Virgo refused to tell her she doubted any of the other spirits will.

After a gruelling few hours Lucy lay on the ground soaked with sweat. Virgo had provided a good target; one that held the element of surprise but yet protecting Lucy from getting bruised. Sitting down for dinner, Lucy rested her cheek on the palm of her hand and observed Virgo for a minute before asking "don't you ever get bored of wearing the maid outfit?"

"What do you mean princess?"

At this point their conversation was interrupted by the waiter talking their order. Lucy continued "Do you like wearing the maid outfit?"

"I feel like myself in it and I feel it expresses my personality well. Not to mention it helps when the princess wants to go undercover", Virgo said with a straight face.

* * *

Happy and Natsu entered the guild and immediately made a beeline towards the bar. Lisanna entered a moment later, seeing her hyper companions jumping about, she shook her head and went to hug her brother who was waving to her from across the room.

Natsu and Happy looked around for Lucy. Natsu deduced that she wasn't and hadn't been to the guild for a while, her scent was quite stale. Scratching his head in confusion Natsu asked "Macau, have you seen Lucy around lately?"

"I don't think I have Natsu. Come to think of it Erza was throwing a tantrum regarding it.. i think. Sorry I can't tell you more but it seemed best to stay away from her when she was in such a bad mood"

"Thanks Macau". Natsu's face looked troubled "Happy! Come on! We have an errand to run"

* * *

AN: sorry for the late..very late update. Thank you so much for reading! Please do review with your suggestions and feedback!

Thank you yet again for the reviews and the addition to your alerts/favourite stories/ author.. It made me want to keep writing instead of being a lazy bum (I am scared I am making the story very cliché)

A special heartfelt **Thank you** to all my **reviewers **for all the wonderful reviews! They make me smile every time I see them. I promise to have my next update ready soon (is it good enough to continue?)


	9. To know her is to love her

**Chapter 9: To know her is to love her**

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fairy Tail..if I did natsuXlucy will be cannon

* * *

**HEAVEN CAN WAIT**

_**To know her is to love her**_

* * *

Before Natsu and Happy could leave the guild they heard the unmistakable Erza growl. With no idea of what he did wrong this time Natsu decided the fastest way to Lucy's apartment right now was under the table, waking up tomorrow and losing another day was not an option at this point in time.

"Almost there", Natsu whispered to Happy as he crawled towards the door. "AHHHHHHHHH….", he screamed as Erza held him down using her foot. Happy flew up shrieking as Natsu was put in a chokehold.

"Erza, stop it", Lisanna pushed Erza away guarding a half-conscious Natsu, "He can't even feel your punishment anymore and why are you choking him anyway?"

"Lucy hasn't come to guild for over 2 weeks"

Natsu sat up and looked at Erza puzzled. "I was going to go check up on her when I got held up"

Lisanna backed away wide eyed as Erza drew in a deep breath and Natsu braced himself. Instead of inflicting further physical pain on him Erza yelled, "Why and HOW did you ever come up with the idea of the idea of leaving her behind? This is my fault as well, I should have never agreed to this..I just never knew she would do this. I knew that she always felt left out in most places and she needed to be told and made felt that she was our nakama more than anyone. We are going to make this right; I am coming with you to her apartment", and walked towards the door.

"STOP IT", the master commanded half hidden behind the other side of the bar. "Lucy won't be there, she wanted some time off from all this. She will come back when she is ready"

Absolute silence and then there were whispers which was escalating to shouting, the sound of glass breaking made everyone turn to "You knew and didn't tell anyone", MiraJane breathed fire at Master Markov.

In the midst of the commotion Natsu grabbed Happy and ran. To him going to Lucy's apartment had never been a problem, his feet knew the way before he could even think about the route; afterall it was the place he crashed at night when he couldn't sleep, his haven when he couldn't handle his voice echoing alone in his house, his anchor when he thought about Igneel and the coldness in his heart almost made him leave to search, it was what he thought of as home when he was on missions. But for once...for once he was worried what would he do if he didn't find her there.

Since she came into his life- his priorities, his world, his fears and he have never been the same, she made his life and heart feel fuller than he ever thought and filled a hole he never knew he had. He knew he had instantly liked her- that was as sudden as she came into his life but the rest…about how important she became and how much his happiness depended on hers was slow and gradual; It had crept up upon him before he knew it had happened and now..he couldn't bear the thought of no Lucy.

He climbed into her window as he called, "Luce..Lucy…are you there?".

After a few moments of rushing through the apartment and the stifiling silence Natsu sat on the bed and looked around, "Her scent is stale". _She really left. She isn't here. _

"Her things are still here Natsu, and she won't leave her clothes", Happy said as he landed on the bed next to him.

Natsu laid back on the bed as Erza and Grey burst through the door,"Did you find anything?"

"She hasn't been home for over a week"

"I am going after her", Natsu almost left by the window as Grey caught him by his vest and dragged him back in. "Look at this", and shoved the brief letter from Lucy under Natsu's nose.

"A month…"

"She says she ll be back", they tried to comfort him.

Natsu pushed their words away as he took in what she wrote. "She didn't even address this to me or any of us. Does she think we wouldn't come looking for her? I can't wait here, what if she is hurt or in danger?"

"She is not weak, she can take care of herself", Grey turned away from Natsu, it seemed plain wrong to see the usually strong and optimistic guy this downtrodden.

"But she shouldn't have to, she has us….we are her nakama"

"We who left her behind", Erza said. "Don't you dare disrespect her wishes further and go after her. I will go tell everyone at the guild about this note."

"If I can't go after her, I am waiting right here until she comes back" _I am going after her no matter what anyone says_

"Aye, Me too Natsu"

Natsu's uncharacteristic acquiescence made Erza glare suspiciously, "I ll wait here with him, you go to the guild with the note Grey"

_Damn. Now it ll look suspicious if I leave. I will have to wait till she leaves me alone. Natsu grumbled to himself._

* * *

AN: its been two years and I am sorry that I just let it go. I came across this and decided to update with the chapters already written. (I am going to tweak them a bit though)

To me Natsu and Lucy are meant to be together, and they are together (atleast in my mind)

Hope to see you in the next chapter. Please review if you like it(its my love of reviews that made me post this chapter:)


End file.
